


Too Late

by Eunoialy



Category: Voltron legendary defenders
Genre: Angst, Depressed Keith, I broke my own heart, Langst, M/M, Sad lance, dead Lance, enjoy the sadness, sad keith, sad shiro, suicide warning, why do i do this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 11:17:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11576979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eunoialy/pseuds/Eunoialy
Summary: He cursed himself. His teary purple eyes stared helplessly down, he couldn't bring himself to lift his gaze any higher."It's been two years, Keith." Shiro's soft voice cut through his sadness."I know." He murmured, "but it still hurts."





	Too Late

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this didn't turn out to be too confusing. 
> 
> I kind of crushed my own heart a little when I wrote this, and maybe I left it at a weird spot, but whatever. I might edit it later?
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading and enjoy!

**_He was drowning,_ **

_Something warm tickled his skin, musing him from his thoughts. When he looked over, he was met with sparkling blue eyes that made his breath catch. A soft smile played at his lips._

_"What?" He questioned, the soft note of a contented sigh following his voice. The breeze around them made the other boy's gentle brown hair shift and sway. Everything about that moment felt so pure; from the way the blue paladins lips twitched into a smile to the way his heart swelled._

_"Nothing. You just, you look so... happy." Lance spoke. There was an underlying sadness to his voice, and it made Keith's eyebrows furrowed. The gentle smile never left his lips, even when he tilted his head in confusion. A pale, gloved hand reached out, brushing lightly against caramel skin. "Is that bad...?" He questioned sarcastically._

_The sunlight that beat down made Lance's skin glow. His form, legs outstretched along with Keith's, looked radiant against the backdrop of blue skies and wildflowers around them. Keith watched, caution mingling with the happiness in his heart, as Lance looked up with a sad smile. "It's just been a while, y'know?"_

_"What do you mean?" He wondered. Everything felt so right, so perfect; why wouldn't he be happy? Lance's gaze flicked back to him, and he was surprised to find that the boy looked pained._

_"You haven't been happy in a long time, Keith." Lance almost whispered. He moved closer, slowly bringing the red paladin to his chest. A surge of nervousness filled him, and Keith felt his eyes water. Why was he crying? This was a good moment, a happy memory he was sure he'd cherish. The smell of the wildflowers faded when he was close enough to his lover, all he could smell was the faint scent he loved so much. Lance._

_Lance's grip on him tightened, and he felt something wet hit his neck. Lance was crying too._

_"I'm so sorry." Lance said, voice low and full of a pain Keith had never heard from him. "Keith, you need to know that I love you."_

_The desperation in his words only confused Keith more, but his gaze softened as he pulled away, arms still hanging loosely around Lance's waist. There was love in his purple hues, a love that ran down to his very soul. "Of course I do." He replied, giving a reassuring smile. "I love you, too." He brought his hands, though shaking, to wipe away the tears on Lance's face._

_"God, mullet." Trembling lips formed a strained smile. "I'm so sorry."_

_Keith's own chest began to weigh with sadness. When he opened his mouth to speak, he only let out a strangled sort of sob. "It's not your fault." He cried, voice cracking. "I should have been there, I should have helped you! I should have noticed..."_

_Keith broke. Misery had claimed his soul long ago, and it seemed to torture him with these pleasant images. He tried to print the picture of Lance, sun shining down on him at just the right angle, into his head. He wanted to remember it forever. But his vision was blurred, and his chest constricted when Lance's warm hands grabbed his cheeks._

_"Please, Keith," Lance sobbed, he looked just as broken as Keith felt. "I know you're stronger than I am, please you have to let go."_

_But Keith didn't want to let go. He wanted to visit him like this every night. Yes, the crack in his heart grew more each day, but he would give the world just to see Lance again like that. He wanted to hold on to whatever piece of his lover he had left._

_"I can't, Lance!" He sounded weak, broken, pathetic; but he didn't care. "I-I don't want to..."_

_"But you have to..." He could feel Lance slipping away. The warmth that had been seeping into his body from Lance's was slowly beginning to fade._

He didn't open his eyes right away. There was a dull ache in his chest that told him he'd just awaken to a nightmare. He didn't want to open his eyes and face it, he wanted to go back to his dream. He wanted to go back to Lance.

But he couldn't. There was nothing he could do to quell the pain. So, he'd have to pretend it wasn't there. Pretend he wasn't falling apart, pretend he was at least a little happy. Pretend he was ok.

The silence around him didn't help the nausea that seemed to pulsate within him. It was odd, the fact that he seemed to feel absolutely nothing, yet he was overflowing with negative emotions. 

The bed didn't creak when he stood up, not like his bed on earth would have. He'd slept with his boots on again, and he hadn't changed from the clothes he wore the day before. He didn't have the energy to. Lance would have yelled at him, scolding him for getting their bed all dirty. A hollow smile stretched slightly along his lips as he imagined Lance's over dramatic expression. 

But it was fading. He couldn't make out each small feature of the boy's face like he used to. He'd forgotten the exact shade of his skin, and he couldn't, for the life of him, remember the angle at which his eyebrows curled when he smirked. It sent a pang of guilt and fear through his body when he realized he was beginning to forget. 

Keith would give anything to be where Lance was. He selfishly wished he could trade places, and it made him feel awful, but he didn't know how much longer he could survive. He was struggling, barely keeping his head up. His skin was a sickly pale by now, eyes dulled and hair a mess. The others had noticed how much weaker he'd gotten. It felt more like they had lost two friends instead of one. 

And every night, he dreamed Lance was still there. The feeling he got when he saw Lance's face, despite how it was fading in his memory, was like a high that he knew was killing him. Then, when he woke up, Lance disappeared. He seemed to fall back into the shadows that haunted Keith during the day, sucking away at his will to live.

"Keith...?"

The voice brought him away from his thoughts, but he still didn't move from where he stood in front of the bed. "Yeah...?" He called, voice empty as he stared at the floor. Though the door was closed, he felt he needed to hide the raging sadness in his eyes.

He heard Shiro shift on the other side of the door. "Hey, buddy." He said, careful to use a gentle tone, "Hunk made breakfast. Are you hungry?"

"Not really." The red paladin took a deep breath. Then another. He tried desperately to tame the feelings that he was most vulnerable to in the mornings after such dreams. There was a soft whoosh, and he knew Shiro had opened the door.

"Keith," He tried, gently placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. His dark eyes held worry and concern, even sympathy. "It's been two years." He called softly. "I know it hurts. I know you feel guilty and helpless and sad, but it was his own choice. It wasn't your fault."

He appreciated Shiro's attempts to console him, really he did, but nothing could fill the black hole his heart had become. Keith offered a shaky smile, tears sliding down his face when he tried to blink them back. "He told me he loved me." Keith blurted. His voice was small and vulnerable, and Shiro pulled him closer. It hurt Shiro to see him like that. "He said I have to move on."

"Then he said he was sorry." A choked sob tore through his throat. It burned, as if he had been crying for a thousand years. At that point, maybe he had. Time wasn't a concept he could really grasp anymore. Shiro's own eyes grew wet, but he refused to shed any tears for Keith's sake. His grip around the boy tightened, as if he could squeeze all the unhappiness out of him. 

"God, Shiro, why would he do that?" He whispered in between sobs. Keith was more than grateful for the firm grip Shiro had on him, because his body would have jerked violently with the way he was crying. And the warmth made him feel safer. 

"I... I don't know, Keith." Shiro's voice cracked and wavered, and he clenched his teeth to keep himself from crying out as well. "I don't know."

**_But nobody saw him struggle until it was too late._ **


End file.
